Merry Christmas (group email)

A brief email from a beautiful secluded beach on Thailand wishing you all a very merry christmas and happy new year.

It's very very strange being away from home for Christmas - first time ever. It's made odder but also easier by Christmas not being made a massive thing here and it being scorchingly hot. I've met up with an old SAC colleague and two of her friends for the next week, so it's nice not being alone for the 'festive' season. I treated myself to peanut butter and marmite on toast for breakfast (I knew it was worthwhile bringing the marmite all the way from home with me) and bought myself some stocking fillers for the rest of the day (chocolate money, chocolate, an apple, chocolate, and sweets. Oh, and chocolate). This evening, our guesthouse is putting on a big christmas buffet of seafood, salads and other delicious food, which will be really nice.

Thailand's one hell of a culture shock after Laos. So many tourists, so western. It's very strange... The 48 hour journey down here was interesting. I thought I'd got away from buses full of puking people when I left Laos - the roads are so winding there and the locals don't go on buses very often - until I got on the catamaran to Koh Pha Ngan. My god, almost half of them were doing some spectacular hurling and it was incredible to watch the ripple effect as the chunder got passed around the boat. Hee hee...

Festivities

(On the train Nong Khai - Bangkok)

The landscape of SE Asia, and Thailand in particular, has now become so familiar to me that I've could easily believe this train ride is my annual christmas trip home. I have to keep catching myself and reminding me that it's not, that I'm a long way from home and that there will be no daddy or Kathy waiting at the other end with a big grin, kiss and hug to pick me up.

This is the first time ever I've not been with my family for Christmas; it's also the first time we'll not all be together for it. It's the first time in 6 years I've not prepared for it with mulled wine and home baking with Carla, and it's the first one in god knows how long that I won't have been involved in some way in some amateur musical christmas performance. It'll be only my second hot Christmas in 25.
I'm upset not to be at home for it, but then I'll spend this one in Thailand, on a beach on a holiday in the middle of my travelling. I won't be alone, thanks to an old SAC mate, and for the same reason I get to give a few presents. And it doesn't really feel like christmas anyway, so it might not be as hard as it could be.

I'm devestated and excited all rolled in to one.

Speak English?

Something strange is happening to my spoken English as a result of being in SE Asia. It's ok when talking to fellow native speakers, but as soon as I speak to a local I find myself uttering the likes of 'Where toilet?', 'Bus when?', usually accompanied by mad flailing and gesturing.

I've discovered they simply don't understand me if I throw in excess words such as 'Where is the toilet?' or 'When does the next bus leave?'. I've become trilingual in English, Dutch and SE Asian English. Oh, and my non-verbal communication is coming on in leaps and bounds too.

Michel

Most of the travellers I meet on the road are nice, a good chat at least. I meet the odd gem, who you click with, sometimes I meet real weirdos and nutters. Every now and again, I meet downright unpleasant, self-absorbed characters.

Such is Michel. We met in a group over a campfire stoked in an old US bomb casing in Phonsavan, Laos, then shared the same tour group and bus rides over the next couple of days. Michel's face is set in a permanent frowl or scown, and he spends most of his time making obnoxious, inappropriate comments while his equally sullen wife hops around shoving her camera in people's faces without asking (because apparently it's ok to do that in India, where they live).
Michel specialises in asserting to know a little bit about everything, assuming you know nothing, and then taking every opportunity to loudly proclaim his wisdom. He also specialises in conspiracy theories and stories of corruption. For example, our tour guide's asking me how I plan to get to Malaysia became Michel enlightening us as to how the Indians had lined their pockets after the tsunami. When sharing rice wine with a Laos family, he went on for ages about how it wasn't that strong; he then aggressively refused more, explaining that he's not used to alcohol because it's banned in India, but being from the UK I'd be alright because I sit around drinking all day normally.

He's French, but that really doesn't acquit him.

Photos: Vientiane

Here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594449652383/

Photos: Phonsavan

Here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594449651682/

Photos: Sam Nua

Here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594449650209/

Photos: Luang Prabang

Here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594449605271/

Photos: North-west Laos

Here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594449581611/

Photos: First week in Laos (incl. Gibbon Experience)

Hurray, camera is fixed so here's the first batch of Laos photos for you:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594435576064/

Laos (group email)

As usual, I have no idea where I last left off, so I'll just start in Laos. Warning, it may become long and rambling.

I've been here 2 weeks, I wish I could stay at least another two, if not more. It is absolutely my favourite place so far - probably mainly due to a combination of beautiful beautiful scenery and the fact that there are so much fewer tourists here than in the other 3 countries I've been to so far. It's so good to go to places with no internet, no phones, no electricity even (except for 3 hours on a generator each evening). I've spent a lot of time sleeping in basic bamboo huts, reading by candle light, taking cold showers in outhouses, and eating a lot of noodle soup and sticky rice.

I started with the Gibbon Experience - essentially a three day jungle trek where you stay in high up treehouses and the only way in is on a zipwire. It is one of the best examples of an ecotourism project I've seen so far, with the local villages fully involved and employed in it and taking real ownership of it. It's also a great experience for the discerning tourist, as you can see a fair amount of wildlife (I'm afraid I only heard gibbons) and it's very very isolated. It got a bit dramatic when one of the lads dislocated his shoulder on day 2 and we had to figure out a way to get him out of the jungle. Nearest car was a 3 hour trek away and wouldn't actually be there for 12 hours, and then it was a 3 hour drive to the hospital. It took a whole litre of 70% Lao Lao whisky, the only painkiller about, to get him to sleep through the night.

The next week was spent travelling with 2 ozzie girls I met on the Gibbon Experience and we headed north through some more touristically deserted towns of Laos. Muong Ngoi was the best - only vehicles there are boats and it's one of the 'three hour electricity' places. I walked a couple of hours to a little isolated village and spent one night there as well, which was a brilliant case of 'how to communicate with people with NO English whatsoever'. Then on to a 6-hour boat trip down the most gorgeous stretch of river in the country.

Culture shock hit in Luang Prabang in the shape of a beautiful but very touristy town after. But they have good homemade cake and yoghurt and exquisite barbequed fish, not to mention a fun cooking course and riverfront fruit shake shops.

And now I'm in the north-east, running out of time but looking forward to coming back. I'm visiting some of the secret war sites (the US secretly and illegally bombed the area in the 60s and 70s, the most bombs per capita dropped ever in the history of warfare) and enjoying a rather brisk (freezing cold) climate before heading back south to Thailand. I'm going to spend Christmas on the Thai islands with an old SAC colleague before an elephant course and then on to Malaysia.

I never expected in Laos...

... to have to help try and relocate someone's shoulder.
... to wait for a bus for 24 hours in a roadside village in the middle of nowhere.
... to find so many oranges, 10 types of eggplants, 30 types of sticky rice in over 10 colours.
... to buy candles.
... to share my toilet and shower with a duck and a chicken.
... to eat such good cakes and home made yoghurt.
... to be SO cold in parts of it I need my thermals and earmuffs.
... to travel 7 hours sitting on a sack of rice.
... to discover that, as I'm able to count in Thai, I can also count in Laos.
... to return to sitting drinking rice wine with a group of Vietnamese.
... to do a cooking course Jamie Oliver has also been on.
... to find another 4 types of pick-up taxi.
... to find a restaurant serving fried cow dung.
... to discover the horrors of a secret bombing campaign conducted by the US.
... to adore the country and people so much I don't want to leave and am already trying to figure out when I can come back for more.

Banking palaver

The catastrophe of my deposit for the mahout training course in January is quite incredible and is something out of a Mr Bean show.

I initially tried to book it when I was at the centre in November. No, they said I had to email. Then they email back to tell me I have to send them a 50% deposit. So while still in Thailand, I try to get information from them on how best to get this to them. I finally hear from them a week after arriving in Laos, emailing me the details for a transfer. After much running between the two banks in Luang Prabang to figure out how it works, I decide to grin and bear the commission fee for international transfer. Only then, at 3.15pm does the teller smile sweetly and inform me international transfers can only be made before 2.30pm. It's a Friday, so I should come back on Monday when I will most likely be somewhere in Laos without a bank or internet access. The next time I'm in a city will be 23 December. A Saturday.

I will persevere though.

Muong Ngoi Neua

A place with no vehicles other than boats.
A place with one dust road with absolute ends to it.
A place with no telephone or internet.
A place with electricity, but only 6-9pm.
A place where you fall asleep at 9pm by candlelight in a hammock overlooking the river and stunning, jagged jungle mountains.
A place where you sleep in bamboo huts and eat water buffalo.
A place where you can see all the stars.
A place where all the roosters in the worls wake you up at 5am.
A place where, having been woken up by the crowing cockerels, you doze to the sound of the school's beckoning-drums.
A place where the haze doesn't lift until 11am, and the clouds stay below the peaks until at least 12noon.
A beautiful, wonderful place.

Under construction

The road Huay Xai - Luang Nam Tha in northern Laos is an experience. It's the worst road I have ever been on; it's been under construction for 6 years and will most likely still be for at least the next six.

A 150km red gash through the landscape, it wrecks spines and covers everything along it in a blanket of red dust. Sometimes, the excavation of the hillside causes landslides that amuse the local children but set the work of the belching, thundering cranes and bulldozers back a few months. Other times, it exposes huge, magnificent abstract murals of the colourful veins of rock. It must be an amazing sight from the air.

Photos: Pai

Pai is the hippiest place I have been to so far. It's beautiful, temperate in climate (read: bloody cold when the sun sets and the wind is blowing through your colander of a bamboo hut), and it's small.
I've had the fortune to have met some of the western residents, including Ben, my Israeli/American/very cool neighbour. He's been in Pai for about 2 years and refers to himself as a 'long term visitor'. He plays bass guitar in local bands, mends bikes, eats cake and chills. He speaks, like many of the long term visitors here, of a vibe that runs through Pai, a vibe that will lead you from one place to the next and you just have to follow it to end up where you want to be. They also talk of 'ordering', of 'programming' the vibe internally - in other words, make a wish and it'll come true pretty damn soon. This is their chat before marijuana, by the way.

The examples Ben has given me of this so far strike me, the ever open-minded sceptic, as being things that had pretty good odds of happening anyway. It also suggests a certain simplicity in the desires of the people living here. Possibly the reason they live here in the first place. Or maybe there is a magic to Pai. Vibe or no vibe, it's a cool place with a group of very contented people living there.

For photos of my time in Pai, go to: http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594403341886/

Project management

Having followed the Scottish Parliament building debacle with much amusement, the Suvarnabhumi Airport - new Bangkok International - is a real peach. One of the now-ousted President Thaksin's last projects, it's been riddled with problems and corruption from the start, and is still not allowed to have an official opening until some minor issues are resolved. It's been operating since end of September though.

Minor issues such as the levels of the multi-storey carpark not having any kind of protective barrier or even raised edge to stop cars simply reversing into mid-air. Similarly, the raised walkways inside the incredible glass-domed terminal building are separated from the curved windows by at least 2 feet of thin air. And no safety railing of any description there either. Oh, and there's the small matter of cracks in the main runway. The fact that the internal signage is all over the place and staff don't have a clue where anything is either is trifling in comparison.

The old Bangkok International, now a cargo airport, has a golf course slap bang next to the runway...

Tanlines

It's not just my skin getting funny tanlines, my clothes are getting them to. For example, the bottom section of my three-way convertible trousers is darker grey than the rest, because I rarely wear them full length. Nice.

Contour lines

I cannot describe how good it feels to be in hilly landscape again. Vast areas of South East Asia are Very Flat and Very Open, covered in paddy fields. Any areas like that in Western Europe were built up long ago, not that that makes it much better.

I don't just find such flatness boring, but it actually makes me feel inexplicably uneasy. The moment contour lines come into existence again - they don't have to even come within shouting distance of each other - a hitherto subconscious tension slowly drops away.

Maybe I'm just weird.

Photos: Chiang Mai

Some more snaps to ogle, this time from my week in Chiang Mai. I've divided them into two sections (click on the photos or copy and paste the links):

Royal Flora 2006 - 3-month horticultural expo in celebration of the king's 60th birthday and 80th anniversary of his accession to the throne: http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594395761131/

Chiang Mai - mixture of all my courses and trips: http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594395762134/

To try at home

You may have noticed (or assumed) that I am always looking for potential alternatives to chocolate. A new contender has lined up to be considered: condensed milk. Now maybe it's me being dense, but other than making toffee, I don't think I've ever really used or eaten it much. Until I came to SE Asia. They use it in almost everything: curries, pancakes, hot drinks, smoothies,... They may well use it as a face mask too, who knows. Western caffeine addicts have a bit of a hard time, as it's not always easy to get a cup of coffee without sweet milk. And any cooking that doesn't have sweet milk in it, will have a good helping of standard sugar in it anyway.

So, to have a wee flavour of SE Asia-style sweetness, here are a couple of easy recipes for you to apply your tin of (preferably non-Nestle) condensed milk to:

Sinh To (discovered in Vietnam)
'Sinh to' means fruit shake, but this recipe is more of a fruit salad:- chop a variety of different fruit into chunks, but NO citrus fruit or pineapple (suggestions: mango, apple, pear, lychee, kiwifruit, dragonfruit, melon, papaya)- put chunks in a tall glass- pour over a good slop of condensed milk, and a good slop of coconut milk (tinned is best)- arm yourself with a teaspoon - if you've got a fancy longhandled sundae spoon, even better - mush the fruit and milks together a wee bit (do NOT blend, just mush a bit) and eat, mushing to taste as you go along- if you can avail yourself of crushed ice, add this as you're mushing too

Rotee (discovered in Thailand, assuming the name's not referring to the effect on tooth enamel)
At the moment, I haven't yet learned quite how they make the batter for these pancakes - if I learn I'll update this. What this essentially comes down to is a thick pancake, drizzled with condensed milk and then sprinkled with caster sugar. Enjoy, and remember to brush your teeth afterwards!

Contact sports

I finally made it to a Muay Thai fight night last night. Really good night, although it was almost more interesting to watch the trainers and gambling Thais than the fights themselves. And the organisers were keen to inform me that I could sign up for some training sessions, if I wanted.

Instead, I am currently training in the other aggressive Thai contact sport of Thai massage (the photo's not of my course, but a promotional photo showing one of the moves).

It's really good fun, a bit different and you get lots of free massages as your fellow classmates need someone to practice on. While it is a wee bit more 'aggressive' than the types of massage more common back home, it's a really good all over massage and seriously hits those spots. Hopefully I'll get enough practice in between now and coming home so I won't forget everything for you guys!

Photos: Lampang

Lampang and the Thailand Elephant Conservation Centre, copy and paste (or click on the photo): http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594384316262/

Photos: Central Thailand

Including pics from Bangkok, Ayutthaya, Phitsanulok, Sukhothai. Copy and paste this:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594384298077/

Little treats

With the lack of any good chocolate in this part of the world, the quest for a suitable alternative is ongoing. Banana pancakes have been pretty good, but I think I've found a new contender: nail art.

Silly as it may sound, having pretty, fun patterns painted onto my nails turns out to be efficient at putting a big grin on my face. Tried it yesterday: 15 mins and 1.50GBP later, and I have pretty red cherries delicately painted onto pink nails. Just looking at them makes me smile.

Rabies

Because the silly relief I feel right now needs to be shared:

I was bitten yesterday. Not by the pet monkey at my guesthouse (I disapprove, by the way, even though it's very cute and receives all the attention of a small child rather than a pet), not by a stray dog, not by one of the nippy wee un-neutred terriers that are the loudest of all. No, I was walking past a bike parts shop and their fluffy husky mongrel thing just had a chomp on my thigh. It was wearing a pretty ineffective muzzle, so one tooth still hit bullseye and broke the skin. Dammit.

So, I wash, I disinfect, I go to the clinic this morning and the very helpful doctor writes me two notes, in Thai:

1. To take to the owner, asking if the dog is rabies vaccinated.
2. If the answer is no to note 1, a note for Ayutthaya Hospital explaining.

The parts shop only opens at 5pm, so I've had the full day of sightseeing and hypochondria, thinking I'm foaming at the mouth when I've actually just brushed my teeth, feeling twinges in my left leg which are more likely brought on by riding around on a push bike too small for me etc etc.

The ending, as I'm sure you've all realised by now is a happy one, the lovely lady owner of both shop and dog hugely apologetically reassured me that the animal is vaccinated to the hilt for everything, including rabies.

I would never have got rabies anyway, would have just had to shell out a fair whack of cash on another couple of vaccines, as well as the discomfort of the after-effects of the jabs. The relief is good though. A beer, banana cake and a chocolate brownie are good comfort food, and I have the wonderful souvenir of a thai doctor's note!

Moto mayhem

I feel that it is time for me to make an attempt at helping you imagine what the traffic is like in the cities of Vietnam, in particular the 100CC motorbike (from now on in referred to as 'motos') traffic.

Imagine, if you can, Oxford Street on a Saturday. If you've never been to London, just think of your busiest local shopping street and add in about 5-10 times more people. I hate Oxford Street: groups of varying numbers, sizes and ages of people forming roughly two lanes going in opposite directions, but with plenty of people just walking wherever they damn well like. There're the old ladies who toddle along at snails' pace, the stressed out business people charging through at high speed, the large families sightseeing and the shoppers who just swerve out and across the whole crowd without looking to get to their shop/sight goal and the worst of all - those idiots who just come to a sudden stop right in front of you with no warning. Everyone has shopping bags and/or prams and/or briefcases, many are on their mobiles. You get the idea.

Now, put them all on motos.
If it's a group of 3, they're all on 1 moto, if they've got shopping, that's hanging off the front/side/back of the moto too, yes, even if it's a PC or a month's worth of supermarket shopping.

Add in 1 car to every 20 motos, and a bunch of bicycles and the odd buffalo-cart and mobile street stall.

To finish it off, every single one of those people has a nervous twitch in their left hand which happens to be near the button for the horn.
This will be sounded to warn someone they're behind them, to warn someone coming at them that they're there, to warn someone in front of them that they're coming through, to make pedestrians vanish (my favourite), to thank someone for letting them past, to show off that their horn can play a funky tune, to warn that the police are around the next bend, for no apparent reason whatsoever.

As a pedestrian, you've got 2 choices:
1. Never cross a road, even at traffic lights, as many people ignore them.
2. Take a deep breath, step out when the traffic's a little bit lighter and walk across steadily and slowly, never run, and never stop. That's suicide.
When to step out? Well, the only rule is four wheels bad (they will never stop or slow down), two wheels worse (they often slow down and swerve, but sometimes don't, you can never be sure).


The moto and traffic is a HUGE part of travelling in SE Asia. Everyone talks about it a large proportion of the time, along with food and toilets. It's part of the fun and challenge of the place, and different from country to country.
In Vietnam, they argue that the city roads couldn't take all the cars that are replaced by the cheaper, nippier moto. Now seeing the terrible congestion problems in car-ridden Bangkok, I have to wonder if the Viets have a point.

Photos: Halong Bay

Photos of my last Vietnam tour: the stunning Halong Bay. Copy and paste this link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594373661010/

Photos: Sapa and surrounding areas

Photos of the beautiful Sapa in the north-west of Vietnam, where I 'trekked' for 3 days and 2 nights, staying in tiny villages. Copy and paste this link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594373657649/

Photos: Hanoi

Photos of my time in the Vietnamese capital - copy and paste this link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594373653865/

Photos: Ninh Binh and Cuc Phuong National Park

Photos of my amazing time in the jungle - copy and paste this link (or click on the photo): http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594373649145/

Photos: Hoi An

Photos of Hoi An - copy and paste this link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594373562355/

Photos: Mui Né

Some photos of my short time in the coastal fishing village of Mui Né. Copy and paste this link (or click on the photo): http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594373561211/

Photos: Hué and De-militarized Zone (DMZ)

Photos of Hué and the DMZ - copy and paste this link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594373564264/

Photos: Dalat and Highlands

Copy and paste the links:

Dalat, Highlands and canyoning: http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594363376375/

2-Day Easy Rider to Mui Né: http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594363409781/

Tours of evil

I have decided I am going to stop taking tours if at all possible. They are horrible, horrible regimented things. I mean bus tours, where you go out on a bus packed with 30 tourists and a tour guide to get a 'unique experience' of the sights of the area. It doesn't feel unique to me, but more like a bloody school trip. You're herded on and off the bus en masse and troupe through the places in the way they have decided you want to see them, you are shouted at if you dare hang back a second longer to enjoy a place or take an extra photo, and you are always taken to one of the most expensive, bland places to eat. I think tour guides are coming to hate me as much as I hate their tours - if they shout at me for lingering a couple of seconds longer, I tell them to chill, and I never EVER eat at where they drop us off, instead going for a wander to find the local market or eatery.

I know that the tours pretty much have to work this way to work at all, but they're really not for me. So I will leave well alone, see less but enjoy it more.

Photos: Southern Vietnam

Here are some more photos for you to have a wee browse of when you get a chance, just copy and paste the links, as always.

Saigon/Ho Chi Minh City: http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594339655765/

Mekong Delta: http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594356611334/

NOT FOR VEGGIES (just a few photos of some of the interesting things you can find in SE Asia, I'll keep adding to this one as I go along. It's not suitable for veggies or squeamish people): http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594356612735/

Easy riding on a broken bum

When you've been in SE Asia a few weeks, you've grown accustomed to hopping on the backs of scooters/mopeds to get around. When you get to Dalat in Vietnam, there is a whole different version of this. A group of local motorbike riders discovered a demand many years ago for guided tours of the central highlands by local English-speaking guides. So the Easy Riders came to be, offering tours around Dalat all the way to trips over several days from Dalat to the coast or to Saigon. There is nothing that quite compares.

I met Ti Ti, my adoptive Easy Rider, and he took me on a day trip around the Dalat countryside. It is THE way to see a country: an English-speaking local shows you the secret nooks and crannies of his stomping ground, everything you would never see from a bus, his favourite places to eat, while telling you about the history and stories of life in Vietnam.

So it was that, the day after I cracked my tailbone on a rock while canyoning, I still decided to hop on the back of Ti Ti's bike with all my luggage and take a 2-day trip through the hills to Mui Ne on the coast. I'm not going to bore with the details, but it really was incredible. He is such a considerate, careful and friendly driver and guide. Over the total three days I spent with him, I saw 3 minority ethnic villages, countless coffee and tea plantations, several pagodas and temples, and home factories making, growing or mining, among others, silk, noodles, rice wine, mushrooms, granite, rice paper, dragon fruit, incense sticks and tofu. And let's not forget the stunning panoramic views.

Photos: Ho Chi Minh City

Here we go, photos from Ho Chi Minh City (formerly known as Saigon). Copy and paste this link (or click on the photo): http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594339655765/

Travelling light

I have brought too much stuff with me. Usual story. Along the way, I have met some people travelling light, with a bag the size of my daypack as their main luggage. Good on em, and I reckon I could do that next time.

And then there's Osuye. Osuye is a 20-year-old Japanese lad. He is also absolutely crackers. He's travelling SE Asia for 2 months, he is hugely excitable, and his luggage is a quarter of the size of what I used to take into the office every day. He left home in a pair of shorts, a t-shirt, trainers, presumably boxers, and a small bag containing his passport, wallet and camera. That's it. Now that is travelling light.

He upgraded to a slightly larger back when he got to Saigon, and now I have his original bag. I can't even fit my reading book in it.

Defining the norm

Us humans are such adaptable creatures. I've been away from home a month now and there are already so many habits and intricacies of travelling life here in Asia that no longer seem weird. These include:
- You don't always expect a toilet seat, you expect there not to be a flush (bucket of water to chuck down the pan instead), and rarely is there toilet paper.
- While there is a 'correct side' of the road to drive on, motos drive wherever they want - into oncoming traffic, on pavements etc. As long as they honk their horn long and loud enough, the way will be clear.
- Motos can be laden with 3 other family members and a suitcase filled with fruit. If the driver is talking to a 5th family member on the mobile, it's a blessing: he has no more hands free to use the horn.
- You never know which cut of meat you'll get, and for that matter, you can never be 100% sure what animal the meat is from.
- The best and cheapest food is to be had by going to a stall at the side of the road and pointing at the pots that look tasty.
- It is perfectly acceptable for locals to enquire after your age, height (if you're me), nationality and marital status within 2 minutes of meeting you.
- There is always someone trying to sell you chewing gum, scarves, books, postcards, razors, sunglasses or prostitutes.
- Buses and lorries do not always have a reverse bleep. Instead, they may serenade you with an electronic lambada, christmas carol, or rendition of happy birhday. If you're really lucky, the tune might also play when the vehicle indicates.
- Cold showers.
- Geckos running up and down every wall.
- Discover channel and Star Movies.
- The local language sounds ferocious and completely incomprehensible.

This list is actually pretty endless and ever-expanding.

Relative worth

I've discovered that it's not just our British pound sterling that increases in value when you're over in these parts. A smile seems to go so much further too.

If you smile at a random punter back home, most of the time you'll be ignored or get a look of 'what a bloody weirdo'. If you're unlucky (and in a bad part of town) you'll get chibbed. Every once in a blue moon you get a smile back.

Over here, smile at someone, and the very least you will get is a shy smile back. More likely, you'll get a big grin and possibly end up chatting to that person for the next 5 minutes, smiling and laughing the whole time, before moving on. And by god it does your mood no end of good, smiling all day.

Us Brits could learn from these guys.

Dam Sen

It's not often I rush back from somewhere and post it up on the blog, but this one has to be done: Dam Sen Park.

It's in the Lonely Planet in a box entitled 'Quirky Saigon' or something similar, and talks about it having sculptures made from plates, being a bit commercial, and a nice place to go and see the locals lounging on a Sunday. So even though it's Tuesday, I hopped on a local bus out to the park.

It's a theme park and water park. But when I was there, it was the deadest park I've ever seen, like something out of a teen scary movie. There can't have been more than 50 people in the place, including staff. It was still drizzling. Canned music was being piped through hidden speakers throughout the park. Most of the rides were running but most of them empty. The much raved about ice sculpture house is actually under construction, and the laser fountain show was deserted. And yes, the entrance avenue was lined with sculptures of various animals made entirely from Chinese bowls, spoons and pepper shakers.

One of the more surreal experiences so far. Quirky? Yes. Unexpected? Absolutely.

Photos: Phnom Penh

A second set of photos from Cambodia. Copy and paste this link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594331123956/

Photos: Battambang

Some more photos. Copy and paste this link (or click on the photo):
http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594329247099/

The travellers we meet

I doubt I will ever get used to goodbyes. On the road, I'm finding that goodbyes take on a new dimension. Not only are you parting from someone you have shared good times with, whom you will miss and may never see again (or if you do, it's in a totally different situation), but when you're travelling, it tends to also plunge you back into once again not knowing a single soul in the place you're going to. It's scary, it's sad, exciting and part of the independent travel challenge. It certainly develops speed-socialising skills!

I've been pretty damn lucky so far with the travellers I've hooked up with, and I would be delighted to see any one of them again. Most recently, I really did strike jackpot with the three boys in Cambodia. Three great individuals who, probably without realising it, have transformed many aspects of my approach to this trip already, and certainly were a big part of my amazing time in Cambodia. Guys, thank you so much.

In the end, you just have to exchange email addresses, wish each other well, say goodbye and move on, hoping you'll meet new and equally fab people in the next phase. It's all good - sa baba.

People of Cambodia

I have loved my time in Cambodia and will miss it very much. Not only is the country attractive, tragic and fascinating, but the people above all are so incredibly friendly. Sure, the friendliness often goes hand in hand with hawking, which is understandable. But equally often the friendliness is just that, friendliness, with a healthy mix of desire to practise English and sheer curiosity in a stupidly tall white girl. Those are the special times. Sure, it can sometimes get annoying when all you want is a bit of peace and quiet, but those occasions are rare.

As such, I have made friends on buses, improved my Khmer (Cambodian language), given novice monks an English lesson, and got to know people from all walks of life in this lovely country. You just can't beat it.

Photos: Siem Reap and Angkor temples

I took over 150 photos in my three days at the temples, you'll be pleased to hear I've edited it down to a third of that! I've not had the chance to caption all of them, so for now it suffices to say that all the carvings and buildings date from 9th to 13th century!

Copy and paste this link (or click on the photo):
http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594316658741/

A week in the life

In the past week, I have:
- eaten frogs
- learned to drive a scooter
- learned to cook Cambodian food
- got very muddy
- ridden on the top of a speedboat
- taught buddhist monks English
- climbed ridiculously steep temple steps
- stayed in 4 different guesthouses
- told 40 Cambodians where I'm from
- had my photo taken with at least 10 of the above Cambodians because they can't believe how tall I am
- learned to count to 10 in 3 different languages
- spent a ludicrously small amount of money (relatively) for what I've been doing

Loving it.

Grand theft taxi

I'm in Cambodia! Another fancy few stamps in the passport and another day down. I've been away a week now - although it feels much longer - and I'm getting into the swing of things.

Cambodian immigration is like nothing I have encountered before. They try to rip you off at every given stage, including making you wait 1/2 an hour for a 2 minute visa if you insist on paying the correct amount, and trying to get you to pay to fill out a SARS form that's phoney anyway. I am proud to say that, thanks to excellent guidance from Kirsten and some websites, I was not fleeced once in the process.

The taxi ride Poipet-Siem Reap was something else. 200km of potholed, unsurfaced road populated by bikes, scooters, pick-ups, lorries, cows, pigs, taxis, and a huge assortment of other seemingly thrown together vehicles. Cambodia is poor. Poorer than Thailand at least. Cambodian drivers drive on the right, but only the rich can afford a left-hand-drive vehicle. The rest get hand-me-downs from their richer western neighbour, where they drive on the left.
The trio could inspire a new level for a game a la Grand Theft Auto. The 150 potholes per yard road is about as bad as some I rode in Kenya, but it being monsoon season here... Well, it adds a whole new soggy dimension. In the game, there could be bonus points for splashing and drenching other road users with orange muddy water. Our taxi driver would definitely get the high score!

Vanity

Somehow, something feels wrong with plucking my eyebrows while travelling. I'm not a razor-sharp eyebrow person anyway, but as I'm having an early night, doing some laundry, I couldn't resist the temptation to get rid of some stragglers. This bit of vanity seems at odds with the travelling, not least because many local wages in the countries I'm visiting probably wouldn't stretch to buying the Venus razor I continue to use to stop myself from looking like a gorilla in shorts.

About George

Let me introduce you to one of my fellow travellers. George looks mid-fifties and is, I think, from England, most likely London. I can't tell you much more than that, because frankly, neither can George.
I've never met someone with quite so many braincells gone walkabouts. Having discussed where I grew up, he asked me when I was going back to Italy. He also commented that he didn't blame me for leaving, Germany is a horrible, cold place.
At some point in the last 30 years (timescale changes every 2 seconds when George tells it, as does location), his ex-wife tried to have him killed. He's riddled with bullet wound scars.
George has lost his passport, his visa, quite a lot of screws, and he's trying to get home. I hope he makes it.

Photos: Khanchanaburi

Some photos from my trip to Khanhanaburi, west of Bangkok. Famous for the Erawan Falls, Tiger Temple and Bridge over the River Kwai.

Again, just copy and paste this link (or click on the photo):
http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594298740659/

44 letter language

As someone who is used to being able to at least pick up the basics of languages, including being able to deduce whether what is written on a vehicle means 'I am a bus/taxi going to this place, please flag me down' or 'I am an emergency service/army/staff vehicle, don't look so hopeful', travelling in a country like Thailand is something of a new experience. Although I can say hello, thank you and count to ten, I can't read the alphabet, so no rough deciphering can be done. And that leaves me completely at the mercy of the locals and what the Lonely Planet says.

If all Thais are like the ones in Bangkok - I sincerely hope not - I shall be high-tailing it out of here fairly soon. It doesn't matter how beautiful a country is, if the locals just lie, fleece you and generally take the piss, I really can't be doing with it. Here's to the non-Bangkokkers proving me wrong.

As a result, I'm not warming a huge amount to the solo travelling thing yet, and the idea of figuring out getting to Cambodia isn't one I'm relishing just now. Having said that, I've been out of Bangkok for over 24 hours now and I'm already feeling a bit better. Visiting Khanchanaburi (Bridge over the River Kwai and a 7-tiered waterfall for a good swim) with Irish traveller Joe is helping with the Bangkok city blues! I'm off to Cambodia and Angkor Wat on Monday, but for now, I think another 2 GBP massage and a good night's sleep will do. Wish me luck with the anti-malarials!

Photos: leaving do and Bangkok

While I figure out the best way to share photos with you all, here are links to two albums in my flickr account for you: (copy and paste URL)

Leaving do's: http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594293794008/
Bangkok: http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594293795679/

Ladyboy anyone?

I have just discovered that the hospital at the back of my hostel is the most famous one for the male to female sex change operation. So there you go.

Coup d'etat

I am ok.

I only found out about the military coup when I got up this morning. It was as peaceful as a coup can be, and it all happened on the other side of the city. The main impact on me is that they announced today a public holiday and as a result most things were closed, and also that there are armed soldiers everywhere and big armed vehicles and tanks in certain areas. Stupid tourists are still having their photos taken in front of them though. Duh.

The British Embassy advice is as little movement about the city as possible, which I'll try and be good and follow. They also recommend that those of us kicking about other parts of Thailand just keep a close eye on the situation. So I now have to make a decision as to whether to miss out Thailand altogether, go and do Cambodia, Vietnam and Laos, and then fly from one of those to Kuala Lumpur. Talk about bad timing!

However, the lovely owners of this hostel have thrown a 'Coup Party' with food, booze and pool to keep us all happy indoors. So I'll go enjoy now.

On a side note, I have to say I don't like this city much. It's a big, polluted, sprawling, dirty, noisy city with actually not that much to see (even if it was all open).

Initial impressions

I can't say I really like Bangkok yet, but then that's based on only a 3 hour nap and a couple of hours evening stroll!
But I can say that what I've seen so far amuses me. After an incredible pad thai from a stall, during which I betrayed by greenness by eating with the fork and not the spoon (it's apparently seen to be very weird to stick something pointy in your mouth), I made my way up the market street. Opposite the stalls proudly flogging 'SEX XXX DVDs' and various fake brand merchandise, you can purchase knuckle dusters, razor sharp ninja stars, and tasers. In case you fancied an accessory to the aforementioned DVDs, the stall selling wooden carvings opposite include giant wooden penises. Are these to complement the lady boy doing his/her make up on the stall next door? The guy squeezing his spots in his motorbike's wing mirror doesn't seem to care either way.

All in all, the jury is out on Bangkok so far. I'm still a wee bit shellshocked, but there are lovely people in the hostel. Nothing a good night's sleep won't fix.

The flight was amazing though, I would recommend Emirates to anyone (you even get a starry night sky at 'nighttime' and a pink dawn as they turn the lights up in the 'morning').

Loss... and excitement.

Only a week to go and I can't quite get my head around it.


It is exciting, but I'm suffering from an irrational sense of loss, or more precisely, pending loss in the lead up to take-off. I will most likely grow to know and love wherever I'm going, and discover new and wonderful places, people and philosophies, but at the moment that's all an unknown. While that in itself is so exciting, and really the whole reason for doing all of this in the first place, it does inevitably go hand in hand with leaving everything that I do know and love. Hence the loss.

But then the fear factor is all part of it, and damn healthy too if you ask me.

Roll on 18 September.

Retail therapy

One of my favourite parts of going travelling is the shopping beforehand. That is if you've saved up for it. I have spent a fortune this week, but I feel very prepared for every eventuality now. Well, a lot of eventualities, anyway!

Amongst others:

• brand new shiny rucksack (Osprey Arial, with waist band that can be moulded to your shape)
• padlocked cage for the rucksack, waterproof cover for the rucksack (thank you G), lots more padlocks (nobody's going to nick my dirty underwear)
• sun tan lotion and after sun (my god, I had forgotten how expensive this stuff is)
• thermal top and trousers (hot-pink top is particularly sexy...)
• silk sleeping bag liner (actually a gift from mum, my own wee bit of travel luxury)
• dry wash, chlorine water purifiers, travel washing line, universal sink plug
• address book (beloved filofax - aka life-support system - has to stay at home for this one, so this is the stream-lined version)
• multiple convertible combats (basically walking trousers that zip off at two levels - three outfits in one!)
• South East Asia Lonely Planet (early birthday/christmas present fromwee bro, pre-scribbled with his take on where I should visit)
• Essential toiletries in essential toiletry cases (part of my early birthday/christmas present from wee sis, she knows me too well!)

And the list goes on a fair bit more. It has been so much fun! And all ably supported by the lovely Scottish Arts Council staff (thanks guys) and my long-suffering family (I can be the most indecisive person in the world at the most inappropriate of times).

Bye bye SAC

I have just had the most lovely send-off from my pals and colleagues at the Scottish Arts Council. Hard to believe that I no longer work there and that I'm unemployed again (for a very good reason). It has been a fantastic year and I will miss the people there very much.

Thank you, SAC folk, and especially the music department and fellow administrators across the organisation, for everything.

One month to go

1 month left in the country I love.

It seems such a strange decision in some ways, to leave the country I have grown to love and call my own, And to leave it for over 2 years out of choice! Many people around the world are not given the option and either have leave or have to stay.

I have the lucky freedom of choice and have chosen, for now, to leave. It's exciting. It's scary. It's good. It's sad. There are so many people I will miss while I'm away, for so many reasons. But from experience, the key ones will always be there. And my travels will introduce me to new, great people who I will miss when I come home again. What a strange position to put yourself in! I sometimes think it would be easier if I were less curious, if I were content to settle in one place, call it my home and stay there. Instead, I have to try a few places out, find what I think is my home and then test it out by leaving it for a while.

These are clearly the ramblings of a lass with 4 weeks left to see the whole of Scotland, sort out her relationship, catch up with all her friends, including the ones in inaccessible places such as Birmingham, Cambridge and Cape Town, get grown up things like pension, insurance and credit cards sorted, plan leaving do's and generally sort out all the other things that remain crucial until 3 days before the flight when you give up and just do the necessary. So please excuse me if I sound in any way incoherent or somewhat irrational.

In the meantime, I am NOT leaving the country for ages and ages, I am making the most of the Edinburgh festivals and enjoying the company of the many wonderful people that I have had the joy to become surrounded by.

So there.

Itinerary

The rough one so far is:

18/09/06: Glasgow - Bangkok
19/09/06 - 06/01/07: Thailand, Laos, Cambodia, Vietnam, Malaysia, Singapore and possibly others
06/01/07: Singapore - Melbourne
07/01/07 - 13/02/07: Australia
13/02/07: Sydney - Christchurch
14/02/07 - ???: New Zealand!!

By the way, I know that there are special travel blog websites with maps and everything, but I feel I want this blog to be more than just about my travels and I rather like the way it works.

The beginning

Hello all.

Well, it's about time I joined the world of blogs. The principal reason being that I am soon to depart on a long long journey and this seems like a great way to keep you all up to speed with where I am, what I'm up to and how I'm doing. There should be photos too. I'll do my best to keep them as frequent and interesting as possible, but no promises!