Festivities

(On the train Nong Khai - Bangkok)

The landscape of SE Asia, and Thailand in particular, has now become so familiar to me that I've could easily believe this train ride is my annual christmas trip home. I have to keep catching myself and reminding me that it's not, that I'm a long way from home and that there will be no daddy or Kathy waiting at the other end with a big grin, kiss and hug to pick me up.

This is the first time ever I've not been with my family for Christmas; it's also the first time we'll not all be together for it. It's the first time in 6 years I've not prepared for it with mulled wine and home baking with Carla, and it's the first one in god knows how long that I won't have been involved in some way in some amateur musical christmas performance. It'll be only my second hot Christmas in 25.
I'm upset not to be at home for it, but then I'll spend this one in Thailand, on a beach on a holiday in the middle of my travelling. I won't be alone, thanks to an old SAC mate, and for the same reason I get to give a few presents. And it doesn't really feel like christmas anyway, so it might not be as hard as it could be.

I'm devestated and excited all rolled in to one.