Mental

Dad and I walked into the tiny 'Fireworx' shop in Inverurie today (highly recommended - generally online only apart from 2x 4 days of the year - guess which) and were confronted by fireworks much larger than would be permitted as hand luggage, even if explosives were allowed on planes, ranging through to smaller 'best sellers' and of course good old sparklers.
When we asked the lad in the shop about how to choose between the giant box-like ones (roman candles, apparently) and the ones that stood a metre high, shaped like a bullet, we were informed that (and please imagine the strongest Scottish accent or - if you know your regions - Aberdonian accent here) the former had 'lots ae effects', but that the bullet-shaped ones were (and lots of enthusiasm here please) 'MENTAL!'. No wonder they look as though they're better suited to a bazooka than a back garden... So, 2 'mental' ones it was.
He also elucidated that the distinction between 'cheeky cherries' and 'zesty lemons' is that one is red and the other yellow. Duh. But 'emerald fire' is 'like little fish' (?!).
Knowing little of the technicalities of fireworks, I accepted his assurance that we had a good mix of 'pretty ones' and 'ones that go bang' (that's as technical as I get) and off we went, satisfied customers with our explosive treasure.



Sure enough, the mental ones were mental, 'cheeky cherries' absolutely deserve their bestseller status, and the fish one, well, it really did look like little fish. Kind of. Even the sparklers were better than many I've experienced. Good work guys!

Mental...