Khao Satan Road

Only 19 hours left in Thailand. Thank god.

I'm only here for one night so Khao San Road is the easiest and cheapest place to sleep but by god it's horrible. I'd forgotten how much I hate this street, chocker with hideously drunk and rowdy westerners paying way too much for bad quality food, booze and souvenirs. So I lie here in my silk sleeping bag liner, ear plugs in, in my nasty room the width of a single bed and a door, heart wrenching for the river lodge and everyone there.

Mile high ponderings

As I sit in my window seat on Air Asia flight 884 KL - Bangkok, waiting to take off, I'm still recovering from a feeling that's been overwhelming me since I checked in for the flight. It's a feeling including confusion, sadness and nostalgia. Nostalgia is my worst enemy, but I'm also learning not to assume that everything I feel can be simply assigned to it either.

I'm supposedly on my way back to a home-like country - NZ. To all appearances it's more like my home than anywhere in Asia. So why do I feel like I'm leaving somewhere that's starting to feel like home?
I'm returning to NZ because my mum is visiting me there in two weeks and I just can't wait to see her. Kathy's then coming out in March. There's the possibility of festival-esque work in between. If I'm honest though, if it weren't for the wonderful family visits, I'd not be going back yet.

Dad put it quite simply over Christmas: "NZ doesn't seem to be very exciting for you, Jo." He's right, and that actually gives me a bit of a guilt feeling. It's a beautiful country, but it's not challenging or exciting me or teaching me anything. That's actually the main attraction for so many people, but for me, at the moment, it's not what I'm looking for. I feel like I'm going through all the motions in NZ because I've got the visa so I might as well see stuff while I'm here. What I look forward to the most is the idea of living and working in Wellington for a while. Main reason for that is probably because it's the closest I'll find to my life in Glasgow and Edinburgh over here. In which case, I might as well have stayed at home.

Maybe it's time for a rethink. Maybe I'm riding on too much nostalgia full stop. Maybe I need to go home for a reality check. Maybe my brief return to Malaysia has reminded me of what I want to be doing and where I want to be at the moment. Maybe I have no idea.

New faces in the river lodge family

Jay: Nelson's little brother, excellent chef and guitarist, shy - complete opposite of the older sibling, big heart and big laugh









Woh/Rina: Jay's girlfriend, housekeeping, trained as a jungle ranger, sharp-tongued and a great laugh, loves anything blue









Bibi: Woh's little sister, one of the hardest workers on the lodge (kitchen help), permanently attached to her mobile phone, engaged at 18, very pretty








Zahari: Operations manager at Sepilok Jungle Resort, Nelson's brother in law, extremely intelligent and insightful, friendliest face around









Lan: Aloi's brother in law, driver, big cheeky grin and heart of gold, he was the driver who took me to the lodge the very first time I visited back in January







Media: other kitchen help, older lady, moans a lot with a cutting sense of humour







Kalo: builder, young and gangly Philippino, youngest on the lodge so sent on all the errands (including fetching cigarettes, rice wine and ping pong balls), shy exterior but hidden, dirty depths






Sulaiman: builder who loves a laugh, the builders' 'dad'









Fik: builder, heavy drinker with a habit of throwing up on the walkway then falling asleep in the kitchen








Ata: carpenter and lodge granddad with a young streak still going strong, loves to dance and watch soft porn








Richard & Joanne: English, living in Kota Kinabalu (KK), they run a photography and diving company (http://www.downbelow.co.uk/) and come to the lodge every couple of months to relax and take photos, had christmas eve dinner with them in KK





Gert & Jason: Gert is from Belgium, not far from where I grew up, Jason is Chinese Malay from KL; the two of them are building a beautiful lodge in the hills opposite our lodge

Cinta Malaysia

This country and its people are slowly growing on me. As I learn more and more Malay and grow more accustomed to and gain more understanding of their culture and habits, I find I'm getting fonder and fonder of Malaysian life. There will always be clashes, differences and frustrations for me here but I'm discovering new things to balance them out.

I leave the river lodge in 2 days and depart Malaysia in 9. The lodge is too small a world for me to survive in months on end, but then that's similar to how I was feeling on Mt Ruapehu. With more time here, that time wouldn't feel quite so precious and I'd be more inclined to take time away from the river to explore more of Borneo. I've seen appallingly little of this island relative to the amount of time I've spent here.

Put it this way: when I leave, I'm not expecting it to be a permanent farewell.

Orange babies

The silver langur (or silver leaf monkey) is in my eyes the most attractive primate on this river. A relatively large monkey, it has a beautiful silvery/grey coat and a darker face. They sport a quiff and a mass of hair out of each cheek creating the impression of a triangular head. In the middle of that triangle bright, inquisitive eyes look down at you from the trees.

Curiously, their babies are born bright orange and are extremely cute.

A group we see regularly also has an albino - an adult that hasn't turned silver in maturity but whose orange coat has just slightly lightened. Albi's a female and she has become a favourite of mine. So imagine my delight when we discovered that strawberry-blonde Albi has just had her very own orange baby. It's a very rare sight too.

Itchy scratchy

OK, I swear that if one more mosquito or ant bites me I'm going to SCREAM! They are so persistent and I can't keep slapping on the DEET. AAaagh!!

RTM

Malaysian TV is something else. Malaysia's a multi-cultural country - a melting pot of Malays, Chinese, Indians, Indonesians, Philippinos and smatterings of all sorts. The UK is fairly similar. However here, on RTM (Malaysia's BBC equivalent), there are programmes such as the news and children's TV in all of the languages and not always subtitles in Malay. It rankles with the Malays: this is Malaysia, not China or India.

Then there are the soaps. I thought you couldn't get much worse than Emmerdale or Coronation Street...
The overuse of slow-mo zoom0in face shots at 'dramatic' moments, the awful soundtrack, the generally appalling acting, and lots and lots of crying. Always crying. That's before you get into the incredible plot-lines.
A favourite here on the lodge is Bakekang (Philippino). General summary: Bakekang (B) ('ugly' lady) lives in the slums and has illegitimate twins Kristal (K) and Charming (C). K is beautiful, C is 'ugly'. To deal with financial crisis B sells C to an evil lady who treats her like a slave. K on the other hand gets into the TV industry where she competes with Lorraine and her bitch mother Valeria. This is the setting for the drama... It's frustratingly addictive.
In Philippino TV they only employ beautiful actors so if they need to cast someone as 'ugly', they slap on a big nose and false teeth!

Another TV oddity: It's completely normal on a primetime music show for not only the band and backing vocalists, but also the star singer to sing from sheet music on a music stand.

My personal favourite: shampoo ads featuring fully veiled muslim girls as the stars...