Contour lines

I cannot describe how good it feels to be in hilly landscape again. Vast areas of South East Asia are Very Flat and Very Open, covered in paddy fields. Any areas like that in Western Europe were built up long ago, not that that makes it much better.

I don't just find such flatness boring, but it actually makes me feel inexplicably uneasy. The moment contour lines come into existence again - they don't have to even come within shouting distance of each other - a hitherto subconscious tension slowly drops away.

Maybe I'm just weird.

Photos: Chiang Mai

Some more snaps to ogle, this time from my week in Chiang Mai. I've divided them into two sections (click on the photos or copy and paste the links):

Royal Flora 2006 - 3-month horticultural expo in celebration of the king's 60th birthday and 80th anniversary of his accession to the throne: http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594395761131/

Chiang Mai - mixture of all my courses and trips: http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594395762134/

To try at home

You may have noticed (or assumed) that I am always looking for potential alternatives to chocolate. A new contender has lined up to be considered: condensed milk. Now maybe it's me being dense, but other than making toffee, I don't think I've ever really used or eaten it much. Until I came to SE Asia. They use it in almost everything: curries, pancakes, hot drinks, smoothies,... They may well use it as a face mask too, who knows. Western caffeine addicts have a bit of a hard time, as it's not always easy to get a cup of coffee without sweet milk. And any cooking that doesn't have sweet milk in it, will have a good helping of standard sugar in it anyway.

So, to have a wee flavour of SE Asia-style sweetness, here are a couple of easy recipes for you to apply your tin of (preferably non-Nestle) condensed milk to:

Sinh To (discovered in Vietnam)
'Sinh to' means fruit shake, but this recipe is more of a fruit salad:- chop a variety of different fruit into chunks, but NO citrus fruit or pineapple (suggestions: mango, apple, pear, lychee, kiwifruit, dragonfruit, melon, papaya)- put chunks in a tall glass- pour over a good slop of condensed milk, and a good slop of coconut milk (tinned is best)- arm yourself with a teaspoon - if you've got a fancy longhandled sundae spoon, even better - mush the fruit and milks together a wee bit (do NOT blend, just mush a bit) and eat, mushing to taste as you go along- if you can avail yourself of crushed ice, add this as you're mushing too

Rotee (discovered in Thailand, assuming the name's not referring to the effect on tooth enamel)
At the moment, I haven't yet learned quite how they make the batter for these pancakes - if I learn I'll update this. What this essentially comes down to is a thick pancake, drizzled with condensed milk and then sprinkled with caster sugar. Enjoy, and remember to brush your teeth afterwards!

Contact sports

I finally made it to a Muay Thai fight night last night. Really good night, although it was almost more interesting to watch the trainers and gambling Thais than the fights themselves. And the organisers were keen to inform me that I could sign up for some training sessions, if I wanted.

Instead, I am currently training in the other aggressive Thai contact sport of Thai massage (the photo's not of my course, but a promotional photo showing one of the moves).

It's really good fun, a bit different and you get lots of free massages as your fellow classmates need someone to practice on. While it is a wee bit more 'aggressive' than the types of massage more common back home, it's a really good all over massage and seriously hits those spots. Hopefully I'll get enough practice in between now and coming home so I won't forget everything for you guys!

Photos: Lampang

Lampang and the Thailand Elephant Conservation Centre, copy and paste (or click on the photo): http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594384316262/

Photos: Central Thailand

Including pics from Bangkok, Ayutthaya, Phitsanulok, Sukhothai. Copy and paste this:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594384298077/

Little treats

With the lack of any good chocolate in this part of the world, the quest for a suitable alternative is ongoing. Banana pancakes have been pretty good, but I think I've found a new contender: nail art.

Silly as it may sound, having pretty, fun patterns painted onto my nails turns out to be efficient at putting a big grin on my face. Tried it yesterday: 15 mins and 1.50GBP later, and I have pretty red cherries delicately painted onto pink nails. Just looking at them makes me smile.

Rabies

Because the silly relief I feel right now needs to be shared:

I was bitten yesterday. Not by the pet monkey at my guesthouse (I disapprove, by the way, even though it's very cute and receives all the attention of a small child rather than a pet), not by a stray dog, not by one of the nippy wee un-neutred terriers that are the loudest of all. No, I was walking past a bike parts shop and their fluffy husky mongrel thing just had a chomp on my thigh. It was wearing a pretty ineffective muzzle, so one tooth still hit bullseye and broke the skin. Dammit.

So, I wash, I disinfect, I go to the clinic this morning and the very helpful doctor writes me two notes, in Thai:

1. To take to the owner, asking if the dog is rabies vaccinated.
2. If the answer is no to note 1, a note for Ayutthaya Hospital explaining.

The parts shop only opens at 5pm, so I've had the full day of sightseeing and hypochondria, thinking I'm foaming at the mouth when I've actually just brushed my teeth, feeling twinges in my left leg which are more likely brought on by riding around on a push bike too small for me etc etc.

The ending, as I'm sure you've all realised by now is a happy one, the lovely lady owner of both shop and dog hugely apologetically reassured me that the animal is vaccinated to the hilt for everything, including rabies.

I would never have got rabies anyway, would have just had to shell out a fair whack of cash on another couple of vaccines, as well as the discomfort of the after-effects of the jabs. The relief is good though. A beer, banana cake and a chocolate brownie are good comfort food, and I have the wonderful souvenir of a thai doctor's note!

Moto mayhem

I feel that it is time for me to make an attempt at helping you imagine what the traffic is like in the cities of Vietnam, in particular the 100CC motorbike (from now on in referred to as 'motos') traffic.

Imagine, if you can, Oxford Street on a Saturday. If you've never been to London, just think of your busiest local shopping street and add in about 5-10 times more people. I hate Oxford Street: groups of varying numbers, sizes and ages of people forming roughly two lanes going in opposite directions, but with plenty of people just walking wherever they damn well like. There're the old ladies who toddle along at snails' pace, the stressed out business people charging through at high speed, the large families sightseeing and the shoppers who just swerve out and across the whole crowd without looking to get to their shop/sight goal and the worst of all - those idiots who just come to a sudden stop right in front of you with no warning. Everyone has shopping bags and/or prams and/or briefcases, many are on their mobiles. You get the idea.

Now, put them all on motos.
If it's a group of 3, they're all on 1 moto, if they've got shopping, that's hanging off the front/side/back of the moto too, yes, even if it's a PC or a month's worth of supermarket shopping.

Add in 1 car to every 20 motos, and a bunch of bicycles and the odd buffalo-cart and mobile street stall.

To finish it off, every single one of those people has a nervous twitch in their left hand which happens to be near the button for the horn.
This will be sounded to warn someone they're behind them, to warn someone coming at them that they're there, to warn someone in front of them that they're coming through, to make pedestrians vanish (my favourite), to thank someone for letting them past, to show off that their horn can play a funky tune, to warn that the police are around the next bend, for no apparent reason whatsoever.

As a pedestrian, you've got 2 choices:
1. Never cross a road, even at traffic lights, as many people ignore them.
2. Take a deep breath, step out when the traffic's a little bit lighter and walk across steadily and slowly, never run, and never stop. That's suicide.
When to step out? Well, the only rule is four wheels bad (they will never stop or slow down), two wheels worse (they often slow down and swerve, but sometimes don't, you can never be sure).


The moto and traffic is a HUGE part of travelling in SE Asia. Everyone talks about it a large proportion of the time, along with food and toilets. It's part of the fun and challenge of the place, and different from country to country.
In Vietnam, they argue that the city roads couldn't take all the cars that are replaced by the cheaper, nippier moto. Now seeing the terrible congestion problems in car-ridden Bangkok, I have to wonder if the Viets have a point.

Photos: Halong Bay

Photos of my last Vietnam tour: the stunning Halong Bay. Copy and paste this link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594373661010/

Photos: Sapa and surrounding areas

Photos of the beautiful Sapa in the north-west of Vietnam, where I 'trekked' for 3 days and 2 nights, staying in tiny villages. Copy and paste this link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594373657649/

Photos: Hanoi

Photos of my time in the Vietnamese capital - copy and paste this link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594373653865/

Photos: Ninh Binh and Cuc Phuong National Park

Photos of my amazing time in the jungle - copy and paste this link (or click on the photo): http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594373649145/

Photos: Hoi An

Photos of Hoi An - copy and paste this link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594373562355/

Photos: Mui Né

Some photos of my short time in the coastal fishing village of Mui Né. Copy and paste this link (or click on the photo): http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594373561211/

Photos: Hué and De-militarized Zone (DMZ)

Photos of Hué and the DMZ - copy and paste this link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594373564264/

Photos: Dalat and Highlands

Copy and paste the links:

Dalat, Highlands and canyoning: http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594363376375/

2-Day Easy Rider to Mui Né: http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594363409781/

Tours of evil

I have decided I am going to stop taking tours if at all possible. They are horrible, horrible regimented things. I mean bus tours, where you go out on a bus packed with 30 tourists and a tour guide to get a 'unique experience' of the sights of the area. It doesn't feel unique to me, but more like a bloody school trip. You're herded on and off the bus en masse and troupe through the places in the way they have decided you want to see them, you are shouted at if you dare hang back a second longer to enjoy a place or take an extra photo, and you are always taken to one of the most expensive, bland places to eat. I think tour guides are coming to hate me as much as I hate their tours - if they shout at me for lingering a couple of seconds longer, I tell them to chill, and I never EVER eat at where they drop us off, instead going for a wander to find the local market or eatery.

I know that the tours pretty much have to work this way to work at all, but they're really not for me. So I will leave well alone, see less but enjoy it more.

Photos: Southern Vietnam

Here are some more photos for you to have a wee browse of when you get a chance, just copy and paste the links, as always.

Saigon/Ho Chi Minh City: http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594339655765/

Mekong Delta: http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594356611334/

NOT FOR VEGGIES (just a few photos of some of the interesting things you can find in SE Asia, I'll keep adding to this one as I go along. It's not suitable for veggies or squeamish people): http://www.flickr.com/photos/oddballproductions/sets/72157594356612735/