Unpredictable

There are many things I can predict my response to - a good meal, crap drivers, a smile from my boyfriend. Bad news is, however, still something I never know exactly how I'll respondto.
I couldn't predict the shock, the shaking and numbness I'd feel when I got a phonecall while on a skilift giving me the worst possible news about a dear friend.

All I know is I'm glad my close friend, a good colleague, and my fella were there.

I couldn't have predicted that it would finally hit me a day later, halfway to work, listening to Phil Collins, hitting me with enough force to require me to pull over.

I have no idea how I'll react at the funeral on Monday, surrounding by mutual friends (including my ex who cut all contact with me earlier this year). Again, I'm just glad that Gregg will be there by my side.

Staying on

I've made a big decision. Rephrase. A huge decision. My current visa expires mid-February and, until almost a year ago, I was fairly set on that being it for now. But things have changed completely. I still don't see myself living in NZ forever, but I'm enjoying it here at the moment and, more importantly, I don't want any relationship decisions to be made based on whether or not bureaucracy will let me stay. So I'm going for the only work visa currently available to me - one base on that very relationship. It's exciting, and very very right.